The Long Goodbye
Category Archives: spirit
photo friday
Today’s word on Photo Friday is Exercise, something I should do more often. Still, the little yoga and stretching I do works wonders on keeping the aches and pains of Fibromyalgia and old(er) age from taking over. My birthday is in two weeks and this one will herald my final year in my forties. The idea of aging has never really bothered me since there’s really only one alternative! I think having lived a good part of my life dealing with health problems has given me a different perspective than some of my friends, I know first hand that how old you are in years doesn’t really matter, it’s how you feel. My mom seems to be a bit better as she settles into the nursing home for some rehab. The goal is to get her strong enough to go home. If she rallies that’s the plan, if not, we may have to begin hospice care 😦
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. ~Albert Schweitzer
weekend interlude
I do not want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well. ~Diane Ackerman
fragile beauty
When I was dealing with chronic health problems some years ago my mom once told me that she didn’t know how I did it. She said she wouldn’t have the strength or courage to do what I did, which was to go on. She has been very ill for a year now herself. This past week was particularly rough and she ended up spending twenty-four hours in the hospital. Yesterday, she said that a year ago she expected that she would be healthy by now and back her normal life. Now she is facing the reality that perhaps she will have to accept a new “normal”.
I remember struggling with the idea of acceptance and hope when I was sick. I think that when you face an illness, or most any other great challenge in your life, you need to embrace a little bit of both. You also learn that courage has nothing to do with strength or weakness, it’s really just a choice: to do the right thing, to find the blessings in the worst of times, or perhaps to simply choose to go on.
Mr. bookbabie took the photo above. It’s of a baby crane near his office that fell out of its nest is now living rather precariously in a small tree. The mother is still caring for it and we hope that it can survive until it’s big enough to make it on its own. Isn’t it beautiful?
Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher
naked words
I finished reading Mark Matousek’s book, When You’re Falling Dive last night. The author takes a look at how disaster transforms people by interviewing and seeking advice from many different people who have been touched with adversity. One chapter, entitled “Nakedness” begins with this passage: We must accept heartbreak to be fully human. We cannot love without tasting some blood, nor connect without braving some chink in our armor. Those who are most spiritually naked, most transparent, are also those who see most fully. “Let the scar of the heart be seen,” said the prophet Mohammad. “For by their scars are known the men who are in the way of Love.”
I like that term, spiritually naked. I think that’s how it is when you become a parent, the love you feel for your baby is so raw you have no choice but to become spiritually naked. Many new parents are surprised by the force of that love, the uncontrollable fierceness of it. They are both surprised and frightened by it because with it comes the possibility of such profound heartbreak. We love and we lose. Someone I know who is grieving a relationship said that she had wasted the past ten years with her lover because they broke up. Do you think that’s true? Can love be wasted?
Anyhoo, the book was a good read if you’re feeling introspective (as I seem to be lately). Check it out next time you’re at the bookstore. The photo is of my niece Ayrielle, I just want to pinch those chubby little cheeks every time I see her:)
6 words to grace and back
Elizabeth Minkel at Smith Magazine recently wrote a nice article about their 6 word memoir book and the meme I started. It’s been a blast for me to follow the meme as it rippled its way across the vastness of the blogosphere. I’ve mostly read and commented on the memes that linked directly back to my original post because it would be impossible to google and read every single blog that has played! I thought it was time to do my own random list of some of the bloggers who played the meme, so here we go…
The very first to play, Melynn: A work in progress, be patient.
Fighting Windmills: Just six, can’t I have seven?
Julia: Can I be a cynical optimist?
Seabrooke: From deep within, a quiet song.
Phil: Looking at others looking at me.
Carol: I have become mother and daughter.
Dave: A migration never limited by horizon.
BustedBabyMaker: I cried. But new smiles awaited.
Zack (the 5 word rebel): Help people. Be useful. Improve.
Adam: Being active outdoors justifies fried food.
Lisa: Searching for happiness in ordinary moments.
Lori: An imperfect soul;observing God’s fingerprints.
Brent (another rebel): A cult of multiple personalties.
Kerri: I don’t know, but I’ll try.
Stephanie: Just let me finish this chapter!
This is obviously a very short list of people who have embraced the 6 word memoir meme, however, I want to take a moment to thank everyone who has played so far. I’ve traveled far and wide tracking the meme as it left its memeprint on mom blogs, birder blogs, photography and book blogs. I’ve read the blogs of those dealing with health issues, the trials and joys of home schooling children, and the trials and heartbreak of those struggling with infertility. I’ve read angry, funny, sad, and hopeful memoirs, but the one thing they all have in common is that they all offer a six word glimpse into that messy, lovely, vibrant, indomitable, grace filled thing we call the human spirit.
september dreams
When I first heard Josh Groban and Charlotte Church sing that song at the closing ceremonies of the Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City it brought tears to my eyes. Not because it was such a beautiful song, which I think it is, but because it was just after 9/11 and as I watched that moving production, in my minds eye I could also see the twin towers falling. The contrast between such beauty and such grief was simply overwhelming. I find myself overwhelmed once again today by these contrasting emotions because my son and our daughter-in-law are no longer expecting their first baby in September.
After a difficult year with my mom’s continued illness and financial worries at our small business, the news that we were going to become first time grandparents brought my husband and me much joy. Unfortunately, with the possibility of great joy comes the possibility of great sorrow. When you go through tough times you tend to grab on to that one ray of bright light and hold on for dear life and when that light goes out you fall fast and you fall hard and boy does the landing hurt. But most of all we hurt for our son and his wife. Before they even had the opportunity to know the joy of holding their first baby in their arms, they have had to face the pain of letting go, of saying goodbye to their sweet September dreams. Our hearts are broken. Yet surprisingly, rising up from this sea of grief my husband and I have found a new light, a new blessing to be grateful for as we witnessed a loving young couple grow stronger in spirit and closer together during some very dark days. We are so proud of them, we feel honored to be their parents and we now know more than ever what wonderful parents they will be someday.
wednesday notes
Sending out a little love and some groovy music for your midweek coffee break with I’m Yours by Jason Mraz. Jason has a fun website too, click on his name and check it out! Happy Wednesday:)
The key to the mystery of a great artist is that for reasons unknown, he will give away his energies and his life just to make sure that one note follows another… and leaves us with the feeling that something is right in the world. ~Leonard Bernstein
bookbabie 