naked words

I finished reading Mark Matousek’s book, When You’re Falling Dive last night. The author takes a look at how disaster transforms people by interviewing and seeking advice from many different people who have been touched with adversity. One chapter, entitled “Nakedness” begins with this passage: We must accept heartbreak to be fully human. We cannot love without tasting some blood, nor connect without braving some chink in our armor. Those who are most spiritually naked, most transparent, are also those who see most fully. “Let the scar of the heart be seen,” said the prophet Mohammad. “For by their scars are known the men who are in the way of Love.”

I like that term, spiritually naked. I think that’s how it is when you become a parent, the love you feel for your baby is so raw you have no choice but to become spiritually naked. Many new parents are surprised by the force of that love, the uncontrollable fierceness of it. They are both surprised and frightened by it because with it comes the possibility of such profound heartbreak. We love and we lose. Someone I know who is grieving a relationship said that she had wasted the past ten years with her lover because they broke up. Do you think that’s true? Can love be wasted?

Anyhoo, the book was a good read if you’re feeling introspective (as I seem to be lately). Check it out next time you’re at the bookstore. The photo is of my niece Ayrielle, I just want to pinch those chubby little cheeks every time I see her:)

9 thoughts on “naked words

  1. No, I don’t think love is ever wasted. Sometimes it may not turn out the way we wanted it to, but it was our life, we lived it and we gave it what we could–it wasn’t wasted time.

  2. Tough questions today. I think love is a verb. It is something we do. That’s why commitment is so important in a relationship. If some surface problems cause us to stop the emotion connected to the noun, commitment keeps the verb alive. Pappy

  3. love has a heart of its own; i think it uses us. She must feel she wasted time in the building of relationship to… in setting up memory and revealing self.

  4. Each moment we love is an eternal moment. It exists in its own and never disappears. So how can it ever be a waste?
    On a personal level I have loved my son every minute of every day for almost 28 years now. I don’t consider one second of the time I have spent loving my son a waste..not even the ones spent in the last 18 months…the ones he hasn’t been here for. But they exist all the same.

  5. I’ve been away from here too long! You’ve been doing some deep thinking! I don’t think love is ever wasted. I would rather release more love into the world than fear or hatred. I know that fierce love you talk about. It is a marvelous and scary thing. BTW, those are cute cheeks. My new grandbaby has the same ones!

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