Over the weekend I decided to give the hedges in the front yard a much needed buzz cut with the electric trimmers while the hubby was out golfing. By the time I got around to the final boxwood I had pretty much exhausted all fantasies of being a hairstylist for the military, I was hot, thirsty, and my arms felt like rubber bands but I only needed to make one final swipe…Have you ever done something even though you knew better? I saw that the extension cord had been pulled up into the bush and was resting rather close to that last group of shaggy limbs but I went ahead anyway and heaved that little trimmer through the air like I was Paul freakin’ Bunyan swinging an ax, and when it hit the power cord I’m not sure which came first, the loud popping noise or the flames.

When the fireworks ended I found myself standing there like a fool waiting to die, waiting for that beautiful white light and for my grandmother to appear and whisk me away to the land of chubby cheeked cherubs and no yard work. But thanks to the insulating properties of plastic and the wonders of the modern day circuit breaker, the only land I visited that afternoon was the land of buzzing fluorescent lights and bright orange aprons where I plunked down twenty bucks for a new extension cord. Lesson of the day: If you think you know better, you probably do! Take the time to get the ladder out instead of standing on that wobbly lawn chair, don’t move the couch by yourself, and please don’t have just one more drink and then get behind the wheel of a car.

When Mr. bookbabie got home from his leisurely round of golf he found me out on the deck reading my book. He said that he thought my accident may have been a case of Freudian power tool assassination. I didn’t argue. Instead, I took a long, slow sip of my iced tea while pointing innocently to his brand new extension cord that lay curled at the feet of a backyard battalion of untamed hedges.

Safety is something that happens between your ears, not something you hold in your hands. ~ Jeff Cooper