It finally feels like the holidays are over today and a new year has begun. Over the past couple of weeks, as 2008 wound down, I started to feel that big bad cloud of sadness and regret gathering over my shoulders and at first I let it, I figured I deserved it, didn’t I? A little wallowing, a few what-ifs? I mean, this has been one helluva year of stress and loss and heartache around here. But after a few days of it (and a few sleepless nights too) I realized that I was going to have to make a conscious effort to choose between sorrow and happiness, between gloom and optimism. And I knew that there might even be days when I would have to fake it to make it, but that’s okay, I can do that. Because I’ll be damned if I’m going to feel sad and only remember the bad days every time I look at a photograph of my mom, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to believe anything other than the fact that come July 1st I will be holding a healthy little grandbaby up to my face and breathing in the sweetness of a new life, a new beginning.
This is the little fishing pond in a park across the street. It’s funny, but until I started taking pictures of it I didn’t appreciate its simple beauty. I guess that’s what photography is all about, isn’t it? The lens wraps itself around an image, separating it from the noise and stopping time, giving us the opportunity to look more closely at the world around us. Happy Skywatch Friday!
I went back to the park today where we had my mom’s memorial last Saturday and snapped a few pictures. It was a perfect autumn day that day too:)
Me and Mr. bookbabie went for a drive on Sunday afternoon. We went to the University of Michigan Botanical Gardens, a pumpkin filled landscape center, and to a lovely city park in Ann Arbor along the Huron River. The sun was warm, the sky watery-blue, and the air had that cool, crisp scent of autumn clinging to it that makes you want to dig out your favorite old sweatshirt and buy a jug of apple cider. We’ve been making an effort to, as they say, stop and smell the roses lately. To not only live in the moment, but to slow down, breathe deeply, and understand that the present moment is all we ever really have, we can’t change the past or control the unfolding future. It’s such a relief if you can do it, let it all go and stop living in your head, but of course it’s easier said than done. I think we all have something that can nudge us in the right direction though. For me and my husband it’s photography. When we’re out taking pictures our attention is on the world inside the viewfinder; the subject that has caught our eye, the way the light paints and colors the image in front of us. Maybe photography is really just our way of feeling like we actually do have a smidgen of control over life. We focus on one small square at a time, choosing the moments that we want to capture and hold on to.