skywatch friday

Winter Sky

It finally feels like the holidays are over today and a new year has begun. Over the past couple of weeks, as 2008 wound down, I started to feel that big bad cloud of sadness and regret gathering over my shoulders and at first I let it, I figured I deserved it, didn’t I? A little wallowing, a few what-ifs? I mean, this has been one helluva year of stress and loss and heartache around here. But after a few days of it (and a few sleepless nights too) I realized that I was going to have to make a conscious effort to choose between sorrow and happiness, between gloom and optimism. And I knew that there might even be days when I would have to fake it to make it, but that’s okay, I can do that. Because I’ll be damned if I’m going to feel sad and only remember the bad days every time I look at a photograph of my mom, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to believe anything other than the fact that come July 1st I will be holding a healthy little grandbaby up to my face and breathing in the sweetness of a new life, a new beginning.

26 thoughts on “skywatch friday

  1. Blessings on your grandbaby, and your path through grief. Have you read The End of the Alphabet by C.S. Richardson? I don’t always recommend “sad” books to people who are in the midst of their own sorrow, but your earlier post about your husband getting home at night reminded me a little of this book, which is a sweet, quick read. Thanks for your comment.

  2. Hi BB–thanks for visiting my blog. I’ve enjoyed looking at yours –at least some of it. Sounds like you lost your mother this past year. I’m so sorry. BUT-it also sounds like you are handling your grief very well and beginning to move on. I lost my mother in 1991–and I try to keep her alive now by talking about her and enjoying the memories. Hope you can do that too soon.

    Great sky picture. I love that BLUE sky. Where are you?
    Hugs,
    Betsy

  3. i think it takes time, be gentle with yourself; my husband and his mother’s loss took a long slow unwinding… day by day. The new smelling baby… that is nice! Diapers too…. 🙂 My sisters’ is due in August around the 10th… i was hoping September.

    Peace. Plus the holidays is so close to your loss, its still so compacted. Rest.

  4. this is an incredibly moving post. and i have just read back through your blog to see the reason for your pain. it seems to me you need to grieve and try not to stop that process, no one knows how long it will take you. this is an apt photo for how you are feeling. i am going to add you to my list of friends on my blog. hugs

  5. Hey Lilli (Clooney Fan)—Michigan, huh??? How neat!!! You get lots of snow—and I just want a little bit!!! Nothing so far… Wanna share????

    Do you like Adriana Trigiani’s books. I noticed that you listed her. She’s from my hometown of Big Stone Gap, VA… She’s written alot of books about that area.

    Hugs,
    Betsy

  6. I took a similar picture yesterday. Gotta love the blue sky when it’s there and the stark branches. It’s life, isn’t it? Pain and beauty, gratitude and sorrow, all mixed up. It’s ok to be gentle with yourself.

  7. Great post! Full of determination. It’s really what needs to be done – choose. I did this and it has worked. So more power to you!

    I love the photo, it’s gorgeous.

    HaPpy NeW YeaR!

    • “would you like a bag” of course I said “Yes” tnkinihg why wouldn’t I want one?She then said that’ll be 4pence for the bag! “Keep it” I said and popped the shoes into my voluminous handbag until I got to the car! Cheek!

  8. grandbabies smell soooo good. and you only have to change diapers if you really want to.

    they’re god’s best creation.

    that sky is perfect. such a clean crisp blue. i love winter.

    love,
    cat

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