Tag Archives: family

carol jean

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That’s my favorite photo of my mom. My godfather Walter took it on Belle Isle when she was about six years old. Walter was the unofficial family photographer and his photos are a cherished history of my mother’s family. Yesterday, my dad called and told me my mom had a serious bloody nose that they couldn’t stop. She didn’t want him to call me because she said I would take her to the hospital. She was right. I did. She had lost a lot of blood and should have gone in sooner, stubborn little Frenchwoman that she is! The ER was more crowded than I’d ever seen it (the triage nurses needed a triage nurse) and I felt like we were on the set of a disaster movie. Normally, they would have taken her right back, she was a mess with a clothespin device and gauze on her nose smashed under an oxygen mask because of the COPD. But it was a crazy Monday in the ER and the ambulances kept rolling in allowing us the opportunity to practice the art of patience for a few hours until my poor mother could no longer stay upright in the wheelchair and they finally took us back. Our seven hour ordeal ended with my dad and I wheeling mom out to the car, wondering if she really should be going home, she looked pretty bad. But we got her home and into bed with a little help from Mr. bookbabie and I got the call this morning from dad that she had an uneventful and good night’s sleep. As trying as it was in the ER, those docs and nurses work very hard to help their patients and it’s good to know they’re there if you need them. So my little red stocking cap is off to all the doctors and nurses this morning (including my own brother and sister) who have dedicated their lives to the art of medicine. Merci.

a nice visit

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My sister and her family are back in Carlsbad, the holiday dishes are washed and put away, the colorful Thanksgiving centerpieces are tired and wilting. It was a nice visit. I am grateful to be able to write that one simple sentence. My family has been through a lot over the past five years. Like many families, we have watched a family member struggle with substance abuse issues and we have also watched helplessly as that struggle spilled over and touched all of us in different ways. The trail of hurt that is left behind by abusers cuts wide and deep with lessons that are sometimes difficult to accept, the main one perhaps being that love does not conquer all. But love can hold a family together if you let it. Through the pain, the disappointments, and the uncertainty of our crazy lives that tenuous thread of family love is worth tending and preserving, it’s a precious gift that merits our respect.

The photo above is of my wonderful young nephew Robert and his dog, Lola. Robert turned fourteen while he was here last week. He went to a Lion’s football game and a Red Wing hockey game and he spent Thanksgiving happily surrounded by his noisy, sometimes nutty family. If your extended family is struggling to stay connected, try harder to hang in there for the sake of the children. The next time you all get together let go of that Norman Rockwell family you think you should have, it exists only in your imagination. Let go of the past and all those bumps and bruises you’ve been so diligently cataloging. It was a nice visit…and that’s all it really needs to be.

baby cheeks

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Can you tell my sister is head over heals in love with her first grandbaby? They were over for a pre-holiday visit so baby Aryeille could meet the California contingent for the first time. They adored her of course, I mean, who could resist those chubby pink cheeks? (It’s okay Bob, she only cried for a minute, we know you didn’t pinch her cheek that hard!).

“Never have children, only grandchildren.”
Gore Vidal

the marine

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Earlier today we had a family dinner for my nephew Charlie. He just completed boot camp and he is now a Marine. That’s Charlie and my dad, Lee, wearing his old Air Force hat. When Charlie left tonight my dad hugged him and tried to tell him how he felt, but he couldn’t find the words. What do you say when you see your grandson standing in front of you, so tall and brave and strong ready to serve his country? We love him, he knows that. We are all very proud of him, he knows that too. What he doesn’t know is that when his grandfather looks at him he sees eighteen years, forty years, seventy years, a lifetime that is quickly passing by, and a lifetime that is new and still unfolding. He sees the little boy and he sees the man he has become. There simply are not enough words or enough hours in a day to say what a grandfather has in his heart on an afternoon like this. But that’s okay dad, the tears in your eyes said it all, don’t worry, Charlie knows, he knows.

mom & dad

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I haven’t been posting much because it’s been a little hectic around here. My parent’s (and their two dogs) moved in with us on Wednesday. There’s a possibility that the plumbing and furnace problems they had at their house this past winter are making them sick so we siblings decided they should hang out here while we investigate that angle on my mom’s serious lung problems. It’s been a bit of an adjustment for everyone (including the dogs) but we seem to be getting into a pretty good rhythm now, changing old habits and making new ones. The jumble of emotions we are all going through right now are so overwhelming that we try to just get through the next hour, that much we know we can handle. The photo is of my parent’s on their wedding day fifty-one years ago, for better of for worse, they’ve had both as all married couples do, with the betters far outweighing the worse. We’ll figure this out, do what needs to be done, for better or for worse…we’re in this together.

remembering dad

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This is a photo of my daughter Lizzi and my father-in-law, Hank. I took out the background and color in Photoshop and I used the oily blender in Corel Painter to give it a brush stroked effect. Lizzi is twenty-four now and Hank passed away seven years ago. I still think of him often, and I will miss him and remember him fondly today. Happy Father’s Day all.

my mom

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That’s my mom Carol and her brand new great-granddaughter, Aryielle. My niece Christy gave birth to her this past Thursday, on Friday my mother celebrated her 73rd birthday, and on Saturday we took her to the ER because she has been having terrible shortness of breath. She has congestive heart failure and is now in the CCU while they try to figure out how they need to treat it. Not one of our better Mother’s Days, although the new baby has brought us all joy, especially my mom. My mother had no history of heart disease but the shortness of breath has been present for some time and she kept thinking maybe she was just getting old, or it was a lung problem like COPD, a condition a doctor once told her she may have. The point I’m trying to make is this, if you or someone you know has been experiencing shortness of breath and made lifestyle adjustments because of it, shortening an evening walk, letting your once perfect garden go to weeds, buying fewer groceries because it’s too hard to carry them in, sleeping on more pillows at night so you can breathe better….go to the doctor and demand to be screened for congestive heart failure. My mom went to the doctor last week but because she didn’t have all the warning signs her family doctor did not catch it. We finally took her to the ER hoping they would figure out what was going on, and thankfully they did. We hear a lot about heart attacks in the media but the onset of congestive heart failure is often insidious, yet just as dangerous to the health of your heart. My mom is having a heart cath today so they can see what might be causing her symptoms. I wouldn’t mind at all if you could send some prayers and positive energy our way.