PhotoHunt Saturday: Low

Just about every morning when I wake up, I find I’ve been dreaming about my mom. The dreams are disjointed and stressful because she’s always sick and I’m always trying to help her get better. I often start the day feeling a little blue, a little low. I’d like to stop those dreams and rewind my memories to happier days, but I don’t know how. Maybe after I’ve worked through things in my conscious mind, made peace with everything that happened if that’s possible, my dreams will bring my old, healthy mom back. I hope so. I miss her.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran

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19 thoughts on “PhotoHunt Saturday: Low

  1. “Maybe after I’ve worked through things in my conscious mind, made peace with everything that happened if that’s possible, my dreams will bring my old, healthy mom back. I hope so. I miss her”

    I’m so sorry ~ it’s lovely to dream about those who are gone but distressing if the dreams are re-living a painful time. The dreams do indeed suggest that you are struggling to accept what happened to your Mom and so are still subconsciously trying to put it right.

    You might try thinking about much happier times with your Mom when you are lying in bed at night, just before sleep. Pick a happy memory and try to recall every detail and focus on how happy you were at that time. Do this regularly and eventually you might dream of happier times.

    Also if you can and are willing, consider talking to someone about your Mom’s last months of illness and actual dying ~ it could be a counsellor or a friend (but best not pick someone else who was involved). Be prepared for some more pain as you release it all ~ eventually the release will allow the good memories to flood back.

    Talk to your Mom ~ tell her how you felt about the process of her dying and express your loss to her (you may have already done this).

    (I trained and qualified post-graduate to be a counsellor and specialised in bereavement ~ I then worked for over 10 years as a bereavement counsellor)

    Jan

    • Thanks Jan, you definitely sound like someone who knows what they’re talking about. I’ll try the thinking about happy times before I go to sleep. Even during the day I suppose when I get going ruminating about the way things were at the end, I’ll try to change course in my thinking and see if that helps.

  2. It’s definitely a process and a personal process at that. What may take one year for one person may take three for another. With each passing day it will get easier.

  3. I’m sorry you are having a low time right now. I just read the most wonderful book that may help if you’re up for suggestions. It’s called “Left To Tell” by Immaculee Iligibaza. It was such a comforting book.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

  4. Looks like you have gotten some great advice, Lilli. I think it’s normal to re-live those last months of your mom’s illness and then death. But–what you should do is to try to write down some of the happier times —and try to put the hard times out of your mind. Writing always helps me –and then, talking about this with others helps also.

    My mother died in 1991 and I STILL miss her. I dwell on the good times with her–and that always makes me smile.

    Hang in there, Lilli… Getting it OUT should help. I hope so.
    Hugs,
    Betsy

  5. I hate to hear when my friends are hurting… I hope writing about it will help you. Also, I just looked through my huge stack of mail that had piled up and I found your card. Made my day. Thanks!

  6. this is really touching. as i get older, i learn to appreciate my parents more and i’m now inthe stage wherein i worry about them more than myself. i do hope, in time, you’ll feel better and remember the happy times with your mother.

  7. I dream about Mom alot too. Last week I dreamed that I was telling her that I wanted to be able to talk about her and to her without crying and feeling sad. I told her I was tired of being sad. Throughout the next day, I found myself telling a story about Mom twice and laughing and enjoying the memory with my friend. It was nice.

    • Very cool, I do think we have to force ourselves to think about the funny, good times and not the sadness from last year of her life. That’s what she would certainly want, we all would want that for our loved ones after we die. So maybe if we say we’ll do it for mom that would help. Sometimes I just find myself replaying things and wondering what I could have done better or different which I know is a waste of time since we don’t get do-overs;)

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