grateful gifts

I’ve been busy trying to catch up on holiday shopping and housework lately, doing iStock photos, and putting up a few Christmas decorations. But I’m not really in the mood to put up the Christmas tree this year, it’s a big one because we have a high ceiling in the family room.  Mr. bookbabie seems a little bummed about that idea however. I don’t think it’s a ba-humbug Scrooge kind of thing with me or depression because my mom is gone. I just think I’m worn out and putting up the tree feels like one more chore to do.

The last months of my mom’s life were pretty intense, then she died (also an intense, emotionally charged experience), and then I went right into planning mode for her memorial party. And now it’s the holidays. It seems like I could use some downtime to process this past year. My mom’s illness and death. My son and daughter-in-law losing the baby. I don’t know. Then again, maybe processing/dwelling on what’s happened isn’t really necessary. I don’t want to get stuck in that woe-is-me place where melancholy and gloom rule the day.

Hmm, okay Mr. bookbabie, we’ll put on some holiday music, light a fire in the fireplace, and put up your giant Christmas tree this weekend. Because through all the sadness and the loss of late you’ve been there by my side and for that I am truly grateful. Your love gave me a soft place to land during this most difficult year, so yes, you shall indeed have your tree my dear.

No longer forward nor behind
I look in hope or fear;
But, grateful, take the good I find,
The best of now and here.
~John Greenleaf Whittier

8 thoughts on “grateful gifts

  1. The holidays are feeling pretty tough around here this year too but after I got the tree up I felt a bit better about it.

    Maybe you could write down some holiday memories or just how you are feeling and put them in an ornament for the tree…kind of give them up to God.

  2. I’m sorry to hear about your loss.

    I agree with Laura, beautiful photo. And I love the snow, haven’t visited your blog in a while so didn’t see it until now.

    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

    • When I initially left a cnomemt I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new cnomemts are added- checkbox and now every time a cnomemt is added I get four emails with the same cnomemt. There has to be a means you are able to remove me from that service? Kudos!

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