horny cows and letting go

Last Sunday while on our butterfly hunt, my husband and I came across these handsome fellows grazing in a nearby field. They are African Watusi, and I couldn’t help but wonder how they have adapted to our harsh Michigan winters coming from such a warm, dry climate. The lazy days of August are coming to a close here but they are feeling much more like the cool crisp days of October and I’ve caught myself saying at least it’s not snowing several times already! I do believe that my life would be much easier, happiness much closer at hand, if I could adapt to change like the beautiful horned cattle in the photo above apparently have. I want to learn to embrace not only the crazy weather patterns here in Michigan, but also the roller-coaster ups and downs of this thing called life. In two weeks I’m turning fifty and the one year anniversary of my mother’s death is coming up at the end of September. I can’t believe I’m that old and that my mom has been gone for a year already. I’ve never been very good at accepting change, at “going with the flow” as they say, but I’m making a real effort to improve on that skill. I have to of course, because change is inevitable in every life and as we grow older the ride only speeds up and those peaks and valleys only grow taller and much deeper. My birthday gift to myself is going to be to learn to let go, to put my hands up in the air, feel the wind on my face, and enjoy the rest of the ride for as long as it lasts:)

It’s not so much that we’re afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it’s that place in between that we fear . . . . It’s like being between trapezes. It’s Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There’s nothing to hold on to. ~Marilyn Ferguson

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24 thoughts on “horny cows and letting go

  1. You are old! JUST KIDDING. Laugh, I was trying to make you smile. Really when you look at age do you ever really feel old? Your age is only a number, as long as you are out doing and saying and participating in life, you will be able to over come any change that comes your way, even things that seem impossible. Like the lost of a truly loved one. Keep going. And keep photographing your life. We enjoy it soooo much!

  2. First of all-those beasties look so unreal to me! Wow! The horns are something else.
    I’ll be joining the ranks of the half centurions in November and my mom will be 79 in Sept. Just be glad we aren’t turning say 80. : )

    • So close and yet so far.I live at the opposite end of Ohio: South inaestd of North. As far south as it gets. The next city south of the one I live in qualifies as a Kentucky town.If I didn’t have a new work schedule, I’d go in between hours, but the hours are from 4pm to 12 am.I get to have the second most fun schedule of emergency medical services; the first being the graveyard shift, which is WAY more happening than swing shift.At least w/ 4-12, I won’t have to see that doctor who never has time to make a differential diagnosis of an ECG. She goes shopping every day, from seven to nine pm and will only come in if her patient is a Trauma 1 status.A Trauma 1 status means the patient is dying and needs immediate medical intervention. I know some people probably already know that, but I’m not sure if everyone does, so I defined it.

  3. Nice post Lilli, as you know I am a go with the flow person but I still have some days and moments when I feel like aghhhhhhhhh! I allow myself to indulge in those feelings for a little while but then I remind myself of how great I have it and to just be grateful for all the good. Like having a great big sister! ;- )

    • Yes, you’ve always been the happy-go-lucky baby of the family Carrie, that’s why we get along so well, you’re the yin to my yang, or maybe the yang to yin, whatever!

  4. Woooo—Lilli. I’ve never seen the likes of those African Watsuzi before. Very pretty animals. I too wonder how they’ll do in the wintertime in Michigan…. Yow!!!!!

    Learning to let go is hard.. I try not to be so obsessive/compulsive when it comes to answering comments on my blogs. I just need to do what I can do –and not worry about it.

    Hugs,
    Betsy

  5. Ironic that I should read this after returning home from a funeral. Not only that, but the program had butterflies all over it and a poem about butterflies on the back. I really don’t believe in coincidence anymore. There is someone guiding us…

    I had a chance to talk to the grandmother of Rachel, and she said those who are close to the spirit get promptings about something they should say or do, and it is the brave ones who act on them. I definitely believe you are one of those people Lilli. I have left your blog many times reading just what I needed to. Today is no different. Thank you.

    • My sister was practically attacked by butterflies at the moment my mom passed K. She didn’t know what was happening here, she lives thousands of miles away. I do believe we can look at divine moments as coincidences, or we can see them as blessings, whichever makes us happier:)

  6. I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter tummy. As I’ve aged, I’ve become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

    I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with ageing.

    Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love … I will.

    I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a les than perfect body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

    They, too, will get old.
    I know I am sometimes forgetful.
    But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

    Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

    I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair beginning to turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into grooves on my face.
    So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

    As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore.
    I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.

    So, as you approach 50, remember I like being older. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat chocolate every single day (if I feel like it).

    • I’ve heard a lot of women (mostly) say the same thing about turning fifty. That its a real turning point and I’m actually starting to feel it myself:)

  7. hey, this is all wonderful! I am about 5 years and one week somewhat give or take a breath or two behind you– we only have this moment and our soul intuition and LOVE and brilliance and family… and this georgeous world. To love.

    I wish you all the blessings of your heart and mind and soul, and your mother’s wishes too for her daughther, as you would honor or give to any daughter, your own or all.. ..
    in peace, love and grace. happy birthday!

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